Month: May 2013

The Plan.

normalSummer is almost here and that means:

My birthday is coming up. And Soon.

And while I should feel like this:

crying2I actually feel like this:

chewing2The “OH MY GOD I’M ONE MORE YEAR CLOSER TO THIRTY” hasn’t hit me yet. Really and truly, I don’t know if it ever really will–I have some time to change my mind though.

freaking outSure, sometimes I joke that I’m getting old as dirt, my hip hurts, or that I will end up in my future great-grandkids History book but my “closer to thirty” panic isn’t the typical “closer to thirty panic”.

I don’t freak out about “The Plan”.

What is “The Plan” exactly?

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20something’s Guide To Memorial Day Weekend Fashion.

americaMemorial Day weekend. It’s always one of the greatest times to be an American. You get to press pause and reflect on how blessed you are to have the rights that you do, get to remember and thank all of the brave men and women who have fought for our country and our freedom, and yes, most of us get a day off on Monday to do so.

That means: THREE DAY WEEKEND. Three glorious, colorful, patriotic days full of friends, family, boozery, and food.

And of course for us lady-folk (and some fellas), fashion.

Let’s dive into some looks, shall we?

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Tattoos: The Good, The Bad & The Thank The Lawd I Didn’t Get That Sh*t

tattoo sign

Tattoos. They say once you get one, it’s hard to stop.

Whomever the hell “they” are, were right.

I got my first taste for addiction when I was 21; I was helping coordinate a tattoo convention being held at a hotel I worked at during the time and got an offer for a huge discount on one of my choice after scoring a good hotel price for the lead artist in charge. I’d always wanted one and it had been a year after losing my grandmother, so I knew my first should be dedicated to her.

My grandmother collected crosses most of her life and during my younger years had bought me seven of them.

I lost them all. Jewelry and I will never have a lifetime of memories together.

lost sad sign for jewlerySo for my first tattoo, I decided to get a cross on my wrist–which hopefully I will never, ever lose. It’s small and dainty and sometimes I like to stare at it to remind myself of my grandmother, what she stood for and the memories of her. She didn’t have tattoos of her own but I know she would have loved it. She was cool like that.

My pops, on the other hand, upon discovering my tattoo virginity was taken, reacted like this:

angryHe was a little more calm the time he discovered my second tattoo, which by then I was 23 and out of my first serious relationship that I had ended. This time around I chose a flying dove on my ankle, for some symbolic reasons but if anything to remind myself to not ever put myself in a relationship with the likes of someone who was controlling and verbally abusive.

Being young and naive, you make excuses for people or shield a blind eye to certain things and situations because you don’t want to face the truth. However at a certain point, you have to face the music–and the smartest thing to do is to dance on out before it’s too late.

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The Obsession Diaries: Dreams, ‘Revenge’ & Good Ole Thrift Shopping

Obsession DiariesIt’s time for another edition and another batch of things that I can’t get enough of with The Obsessive Diaries, starting with my trip over this past weekend to visit an old friend of mine.

The Bookstore.

I could get lost in that place for hours. And I’m totally one of those people who will lounge on the floor and like I have no home training and flip through pages until I decide I want to make a purchase.

Considering it had been a while since my last visit, I splurged a little and got a few different reads, one being PR queen Kelly Cutrone‘s book If You Have To Cry, Go Outside.

kelly cutroneIf you know anything about the fashion world or got sucked into watching The Hills, The City or Kell on Earth you’d know that Kelly is a beast. Her book is all about her small beginnings and the crazy road that got her where she is today. I’m a few chapters in now and I wish I had more time because I can’t put it down. Any girl looking to make a name for herself, has an opinion and has dreams of the big city should definitely pick up a copy and read.

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Pet or Not To Pet?

puppyBeing in midst of the quarter-life crisis, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about starting a family of my own and bringing in a little one.

That’s right, I’ve been thinking about getting a pet.

WHAT?! You didn’t think I was talking about kids did you?

kidsI don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for kids, but definitely getting a pet has been circling in my mind a lot.

Growing up I wasn’t allowed to have a pet. ANY PET WHATSOEVER. One day I brought a butterfly home and my pops flipped shit two miles from Sunday and demanded I let it go because pets “didn’t belong inside of the house”. I think he was moreso upset at the fact that my butterfly wasn’t helping out with any bills and living rent free.

Also he probably didn’t want the thing to die considering I didn’t know any better.

Now that I’m older, won’t kill my pets and in a space of my own the option to get a pet is now available.

And considering pretty much all of my friends have at least one, in particular dogs, puppy fever is at an all time high.

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To My Mothers….

Happy Mothers Day to all of my moms out there!

My mind is constantly on RUN and I wanted to just sit down and really take a moment to pause and think about all of the women, moreso the mothers in my life that have influenced me.

And honestly, I almost didn’t do this post because just thinking about it got me extremely emotional.

But what I’m learning more and more as I go through this insane journey that is life is that you embrace where you come from, and you let it make you better–not bitter. It’s still a task that must be accomplished for me. And also what I find out in the end is that what you think you’re going through, went through and/or dealing with–someone else out there has been through the same or worse. Remember, it could always be worse. The movie Precious really brought that theory to life–the whole time while watching I just kept thinking, “Damn, I thought my mother was bad”.

Since your writing should be your truth and your truth should be your writing, I’ll go on record and say I don’t have a good relationship with my biological mother. In fact, it’s non-existent.

I am a believer in “never saying never”, so I won’t say that this current situation will stay the same. But for right now it’s for the best–mentally moreso than anything else.

I spent only a small part of my childhood with my mother–some parts I remember like it was yesterday, other parts I do not. I was seven and already at my third school by the time I moved in permanently with my grandparents, my mom’s parents, and started off another chapter in my life under their care and the care of my father. My dad owned his own business so his time was pretty limited although he always made an effort to spend time with me or give me a phone call.

At that age I wasn’t able to fully understand why I was moved or why my mother wasn’t around much. Eventually the truth became obvious as I got older and we grew further apart due to lack of emotional connection, her mental state and our desires to live on different tracks as far as life is concerned.

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The Obsession Diaries: Steamers, Big Heads & New Music, Oh My!

 

Obsession DiariesIs it already time for another edition? Time flys when you are obsessing! Last week I dished on  my undying love from everything to Pinterest to James Franco to shelving for my nail polish.

Which, by the way, that shelf that I joked about screwing up? It’s down now thanks to the decision to start leaning and sliding all my nail polishes to the edge of death.

cryingI can’t win.

This week, I am kicking off this installment with:

BABY PICS

Actually old pics in general. I’ve always been the creep with the camera pretty interested into photography so I love going through photos from back in the day and having a good laugh. Recently I was diving into an old box that had a lot of family pictures and I ran across one of my baby mugshots.

babyI’ve always been a player for the Big Head team but I didn’t realize I was literally born into it. GOD BLESS MY MOTHER.

When I was about 4 or 5 I would get teased for the size of my head and my parents would always tell me to come back by saying my head was so big because it was full of knowledge. That would have possibly been true until the day I fucked that theory up by getting my head stuck between the apartment gates due to me trying to squeeze through to get to my grandmother whom had just pulled up. The actual door to the gate was just around the corner.

adultI still get laughed at to this day.

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The Struggle Is Real: The Challenge Update

dietsBetween the majority of spaghetti, enchiladas, pizza, boozery and no exercise (unless you count being on the go) I think it’s safe to say I’ve fallen off.

take care of myselfWHERE THE HELL DID MY SIDE OF VEGETABLES GO??!! My mini workouts?! Even my protein shakes?!

I think like most people who try and get a little healthy with it can all agree and notice a difference that when all you eat/drink is shit, all you feel like is shit. Even if it’s just taking a few vitamins, juicing, adding some broccolli, a quick run–when you go from suddenly not doing it anymore you find yourself going from feeling like this:

psyTO THIS:

Loved Ones crawlIt’s time to get back on the wagon.

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