The Plan.

normalSummer is almost here and that means:

My birthday is coming up. And Soon.

And while I should feel like this:

crying2I actually feel like this:

chewing2The “OH MY GOD I’M ONE MORE YEAR CLOSER TO THIRTY” hasn’t hit me yet. Really and truly, I don’t know if it ever really will–I have some time to change my mind though.

freaking outSure, sometimes I joke that I’m getting old as dirt, my hip hurts, or that I will end up in my future great-grandkids History book but my “closer to thirty” panic isn’t the typical “closer to thirty panic”.

I don’t freak out about “The Plan”.

What is “The Plan” exactly?

When I tell most people I’m in my later 20s, the immediate question I’m usually asked is do I have kids.

No bitchCan we start with another question? Like where I went to school? Which bars do I like? What did my horoscope say this week? Where do I get my taxes done?

The older I get and the more of my birthdays that roll in the more my family starts nudging me in my uterus and dropping words like “ticking clock”, “marriage”, and “babies”. My pops constantly likes to remind me that his grandmother was 13 when she jumped the broom, started her family and I’m now more than a decade behind.

No (2)That may have worked fine and dandy back in 1492 but now we are in a new era. A broomless era. And I clearly seemed to have slept in on the meeting that turning 27 meant I needed to be barefoot, pregnant and leaping over people’s cleaning supplies.

I’m not fit to be anyone’s mother right now. I’m still trying to figure out if I even like kids for longer than 30 minutes. I barely need a pet. I cherish the newfound freedom that I have and my patience is just entirely too short.

kids1kidsAnd let’s not even get on the subject of marriage until we discuss my dating life.

passed upAs an “over-the-hill” twenty-something, we’re expected to follow “The Plan”. Half of my friends are already proud owners of “The Plan”.

engagedThe other percentage are split into two categories:

die aloneIDGAFOverall I’m numb to the idea of dating and if I get freaked over anything it’s the fact the people like Lady Gaga and Lena Dunham are the same age as me and are living my dream careers. But instead of being bitter I’m pushed to get better therefore at the end of the day work is my top priority. Which brings me to the next part of “The Plan”.


We’re all expected to go to college, get a degree, nail a decent job and work there–forever. Well half of forever. Eventually you get a retirement, probably a cake and a check, blah, blah, blah. Then you’re off to your white picket fenced home that you built with your spouse, 3.5 kids and 2 dogs to have endless movie nights and remodeling projects.

gagIt works for some people, but not for me.

How I am when my boss passes by.

How I am when my boss passes by.

Like most average people in their twenties, your primary job is just a stepping stone and a growing process as you continue to climb the ladder to your dreams.

I think about working a general 9a to 5p for the rest of my life and I want to rip out all of my hair and throw my bald ass into traffic.

crazyAnd speaking of college and degrees, I’m not really about that life either. Sure, a degree is an established thing to have, it helps open some doors a lot faster, it looks good on your resume and brings you more money. To be perfectly honest I hate school, I have a selective mind and I’ve worked a full time job since the age of 17. Trying to juggle both at the same time eventually became exhausting and not worth the struggle for what I can eventually accomplish without a degree as a writer/creator.

One day I will eventually get a degree, mostly just for my own personal achievement. Working for almost a decade I’ve learned that hard work stands out more than just a piece of paper, and it’s not always what you know but who you know. And learning and growing can be taught outside of the classroom–read books, study, network, get a mentor and focus on what you makes you passionate. I’ve unfortunately had the pleasure of meeting people who felt the need to brag that they have a degree and still have no fucking common sense or know their way around a computer.

coworkersThe only plan I strive to follow is the one that leads to my dreams. Hard work. Creativity galore. Crazy times with my family and friends to share with my readers and maybe when I’m like 40, my kids. Living in and out of a plane. Setting fashion trends. Not living in the same city forever. Meeting my idols. Publishing novels. Creating shows and Horror films.

airplaneGranted, the main thing with plans is that they sometimes don’t stay the same. Things get shaky, fall through, but if a focused mind is kept–eventually better things will fall together.

successThat’s the plan and I’m sticking with it.


  1. SO TRUE.

    When’s your birthday? Mine is coming up in like, 5 days and I must say I am NOT excited. Although the plan I am freaking out about is the “what am I gonna do on my birthday!?” plan.

    1. Father’s Day. Ahhh you’re a fellow Gemini! :-) Happy early Birthday to you, don’t panic haha there’s always dinner and drinks! Part of me wants to be lame but I feel like I should celebrate this year.

  2. This post made me giggle a lot :D I’m 10 years behind you and what’s to come in life seems scary! Don’t follow ‘The Plan’ like everyone else. Do your own thing! :) Glad to be following!

    1. Glad you enjoyed it! It’s scary but at the same time it will be the best years of your life–you’ll be just fine! :-) For sure, taking my own path has always been my way. Glad to be following your blog as well–keep up the good work!

  3. Its true, there are so many expectations that other people set for you as you get older, but you dont have to subscribe to any of them! As Williams Earnest Henley wrote…”I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” I’m almost mid-30s and I can say with conviction that it is the best decade yet! xx

    1. i just stumbuld ack!ross V&C and 1st thought (well, 2nd, or 3rd) was “i wonder if VW knows about this person–? they are so alike but so different in that V&C is just a little bit raunchier BUT BOTH ARE (almost) CONTINUALLY BRILLIANT, etc.

  4. Thank you for your honesty, Rita. I’m Laura Beth from the blog Perched on a Whim, and your post is rather relevant to me. I’m about to touch down and celebrate my 27th in July, and I, too, do not have overly ruffled feathers about it. I also reject “the plan,” which many plan-followers really seem to struggle with.

    I think it’s important for fellow non-plan followers to stick together. Last weekend, I met a girl my age who is a textbook “plan princess.” Receiving honors at work and popping out her first baby last year. When she asked me, “What [I did]” I told her, “I do a lot of things…I write, photograph, relate, paint, stitch, and create.”

    Now, Rita…I have tried this type of answer before. I know what reaction it will evoke, but I STILL do it! I think I just like to see the reaction of the plan follower. To her blank stare, I said, “Actually, I left teaching in January, and right now, I do a lot of satisfying things, none of which I’m being paid for.” She gave me a wan smile and said with a tone of reassurance, as though I had just shared that a possible cure for my fatal disease was being made available, “Okay, that can be nice too.”

    Oi, I’m with you, Rita. Solidarity and rejecting THE PLAN!

    1. Yes I so agree Laura Beth!!–the plan rebels need to stick together!–especially since most of us are looked at sometimes like aliens. It’s okay to live outside of the box. Haha I’ve definitely had my moments with people like that–one girl I knew found out my age and that I lacked a ring and kids in tow and responded “Bless your heart”–oh okay, girl.

      Glad to have another rebel to band with, and thanks for following! Love your blog btw, do you have a Bloglovin or Twitter?

  5. I am SOOOOO happy I found your blog. This is brilliant. I could have written it myself (although it would have been way less brilliant and funny). Thanks for keeping it real. Screw “the plan.” Pass me a vodka soda.

  6. I seriously really enjoyed reading this post. It was entertaining and very genuine. I think peoples idea of “the plan” is a bit outdated. Mind you, if people want to go to school, have kids, and get married, and that makes them happy, then all the power to them! I am with you when you say its important to follow your dreams. And why not? Life is too short to sit around and do what you think everyone expects of you. I wish you all the luck in the world, but with your attitude I’m sure you’ll active it all :) xo

  7. Hahahaha I love your use of gifs! :D Thankyou so much for following my blog so I could find you, I love your posts! :) Happy early birthday! And screw ‘The Plan’, make your own! :) I definitely won’t be following it in the children aspect (hate kids haha :P) …… but I’ll probably replace them with my beloved fur babies :D

    1. Haha I love your use of them too! GIFs make my world go round. Thanks for following back and for the birthday wishes! Yeah….I don’t know how to feel about kids just yet–fur babies are fun though! :-)

      1. GIFS FTW! :D They just perfectly describe everything haha :D I have begun my fur baby collection with a cat :D My backup plan to marriage/kids etc. is turning out as a crazy old cat lazy with 59 cats, and coupled with my hate of people, there is no doubt I WILL end up carting them around in a bag and throwing them at people :P

  8. My birthday is coming up as well, in July and I feel the EXACT. SAME. WAY. Although this year, I do plan to do something different. or not. LOL!

  9. Wait, wait, wait…cupcakes, vodka, and horror films? I love you. I’ll marry you. If you decide you want kids for more than 30 minutes, we’ll adopt. If not, we’ll borrow my godson every once in awhile.

  10. Loved this post, even though I’m as you say “owner of The Plan” – married and 2kids, I understand what you mean! My problem is the opposite, my family is stressing me with “When are you going to do something else with your life other then family and kids?!” My birthday is in one week, so hurray for Geminis and we have to admit, being a Gemini is more complicated cause we don’t really like plans, rules and sticking to them :D And happy birthday whether it’s still to come or already passed =)

    1. Thank you! Yep, the pressure definitely works both ways–I have a friend who has a family and is going through the same. Ahhh happy early birthday to you too fellow Gemini!! We’re definitely complicated creatures but so worth knowing! :-)

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