Throwback Tales: Welcome To The Dark Side: Part 2 1/2

Over the end of last summer, I decided to break out of my comfort zone and enter the world of online dating. After combing through what seemed like countless profiles of NOs and surviving a date with a guy that looked like Zac Efron that I will now only refer to as “Hell Night”, I took my exit upon the new adventure and somehow managed to still keep two potentials: my new friend and wine guy.

Although things with my new friend had stepped up via Facebook messages no move or other point of contact was made.

Meanwhile wine guy swooped in for the interest and insisted on seeing me again for a second excited im excited2I couldn’t put my finger on why my excitement for wine guy was just simply not there, other than the fact that he was pretty tardy to our first date and he talked about himself a lot.

As we kept more in contact I also learned that wine guy lived at home with his aunt, at least “until he got on his feet”. I’d been through a similar situation with a previous ex, and it wasn’t something at my current age I was sure to be ready to get back into again.

While I was unsure on how to feel about wine guy, my feelings for my new friend continued to grow as our conversations got longer and more personal; it had been over a month since we had been getting to know each other and started to open up more about our lives. Already knowing we had a friend in common turns out our respected companies were not only close by one another but are also partners and our birthdays were 16 days apart, making us both Geminis. Up until that point I’d never dated or talked to on the level of dating a fellow Gemini, but if he was anything like myself it should be just crazyGetting swept up and as my new friend packed up his bags to head out of town to visit his sister and newborn nephew for the weekend, I’d almost forgotten an event of my own.

My second date with wine guy had arrived.lonelySince the first date consisted of wine guzzling and cheese plates, it was decided to switch it up and go out to dinner at a restuarant that was right in the middle of an ongoing block party.

The crowd was out, bands were everywhere, and our date had officially begun. I hate the quote “Never settle for anything less than butterflies” simply because it sounds cheesy but it is so damn true. I don’t know where those damn butterflies were, but they certainly were nowhere near wine guy. They must have gotten lost at the block party.

While the butterflies weren’t there, my case of the NOs had started to kick in about the time when a new band had taken the stage. They were from New Orleans, and upon hearing that wine guy excited shouted we should plan a road trip to New Orleans. Initially I thought he was joking but once he asked for weekend dates upon being free I realized he was serious.stranger-dangerAt that point I had not opened up to him even as far as being a friend on social media, opening much about my personal life or even tell him my last name. I wasn’t sure how much I even liked this guy I most certainly was not about to drive countless hours with him only to spend more countless hours with him to find out that reign true. I quickly told him maybe some time in the far fucking future but not at this time. It was then our food arrived and saved me further from that topic. All was peace on earth and at the table until wine guy looked over at me eating my seafood combo.

“Jesus, I didn’t think you’d actually eat all of that”.tumblr_mfo47jIhb01ql5yr7o1_400Strike One, Two and Three.

After a glare, a finished plate and some awkward silence I mentally checked out of the date. Dessert is definitely not on this menu, unless it’s To Go. While I was plotting my escape as wine guy went to the restroom, upon him arriving back I was told his aunt and uncle would be joining us for dinner and drinks.say what (2)Every excuse to run could not come fast enough, because wine guy’s folks had arrived and prior warning they weren’t very happy with him due to the fact earlier in the day he cooked all the chicken in the house and didn’t clean up afterwards and this was his gesture to make peace with them. As wine guy played peace keeper, I played every bargaining chip with Jesus for him to crack open the sky and guide me the hell on out of my current situation.jesus take the wheelFor what seemed like a lifetime of answering questions about myself and awkward glances, I finally made it out of the restuarant and down the highway to freedom.

Wine guy attempted another date, one of which I had to decline due to the fact it was clear it was just not going to happen. While most around me agreed due to not having chemistry and the events of our last date, some felt like I should give it another go and let him “grow on me”. Am I looking for a date, or a tumor?

It was then a few days later I received a text from wine guy saying he was waiting over by the side exit for me on the first floor.

Problem was that we weren’t out together. I replied with a “?” and he quickly responded that message was for his aunt. OH.deleteWine guy officially had to go, and he happily obliged.

Shortly after my wine guy dismissal, I received a message from my new friend that almost made me twerk harder than Miley Cyrus at an award show.

He officially asked me for my number and a night out on the town.YASSSSWithout almost saying, I said yes.

its happening

You know what else is happening? The final chapter of Welcome To The Dark Side. Stay tuned…….


  1. Hahaha, I love miserable dating stories for some reason. Geez, whoever told you to give this wine guy another chance must really sort of hate you! What a weirdo. So many weirdo clues… Ugh! Lol. Ok, have fun with your friend. I look forward to the escapades. I hope they go well for you though, of course…

  2. I waited this so long and I can’t wait to read the last chapter!!! Although I am a little scared hahahha I have my own gemini with gemini experiences which didn’t work out…amazing chemistry at first but “get me the f— out of here” after :D So I am pretty curious!!!!!! And I love your writing and gifs so much! I wish I could have gifs with me in real life all the time I really need to keep myself under control to not to act out like one hahhaha

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