Peeve This: The Winter Edition

It is clear that everyone has their fair share of pet peeves and last Fall I came to the realization that the list of things that annoy me is longer than I expected.

Just when you think you’ve reached your limit, some new trend or new annoyance twirls in….and that brings us to the part where we welcome Winter.

THE WEATHERpolar-vortexThis whole polar vortex malarkey has really been whipping everyone’s ass into shape this season.

snow dayThe freezing rain and high psychotic winds and snow was cute for about 10.5 minutes.

Maybe 30 if you didn’t have work or school that day. Two hours if you found something good on Netflix. But now…..

AP19863321620-638x443 news_8_1_2014_4 winter-snow woman-falling-nycArcticAirInvasionaint nobody got time defrost

This mess has got to go. TO GO. GOT. TO. GO.

Current status: Over Winter and officially ready to wear rompers, day drink on patios, attend outside concerts and bitch about how hot it is outside every hour.

VALENTINE’S DAY

valentinesNo relationship or in a relationship, this day is dispised for multiple reasons. But simply because it is just dumb.

Why have just one day to show you care? Care everyday. Don’t care at all. Care randomly–the unexpected is usually the winner.p and sIf you’re involved with someone and the 14th of February hits you KNOW, particularly as the female of the relationship the flowers and candy are soon to be close behind.

OR if they don’t show up at all, then your significant other is officially in deep doo doo.you done effed up now

Personally I’m not big on flowers or candy. Flowers don’t last a day around my negligence and sweets aren’t high on my list of favorite things to consume. Want to really be impressive fellas? pizza

And days even beforehand…..

Some of your guy friends start acting weird.

Tis the season. Some will completely avoid you in thoughts that you suddenly want to take your friendship to a level they just “aren’t ready for”. The others will try for something YOU aren’t ready for. At least not with them.

SuckNBlow

You start getting bombarded with THE question.

“Any big plans for Valentine’s Day?”idkWell, Valentine’s Day is on a Friday this year so most likely at a bar for Happy Hour eventually making foolish choices like extra shots and eating some sort of chips and dip mixture–you know, typical Friday shit.

And then there’s always discussing your love life with your best friend.

crying with friend

KID’S PARTIES

Recently I got asked by my brother to take my three year old niece out for the day and to a family birthday party at Chuck E Cheese.

If you aren’t aware of Chuck E Cheese, it’s a place where you can go for “a kid to be a kid”. Or for a single 20something to want to sneak in a bottle of whiskey, ball in a corner and schedule when can she get her tubes tied do the same. Initially my answer to my brother’s question was no.

But one look at my niece, and I couldn’t say no. Okay, also I was bribed with promises of pizza and cake. What could go wrong with this wittle face??!

samiyah17,000 rides, 37492794734 tokens, and hard running slams from excited, screaming children that I’m sure ruptured one of my kidneys and my niece was still enjoying herself–until we approached a ride that didn’t work. Upon explaining to her we had to go to another ride because that one was down, my beautiful, sweet mannered niece suddenly morphed before my very eyes.

"I WANNA RIDE THIS ONE!!"

“I WANNA RIDE THIS ONE!!”

no maamHear that? That was the sound of my biological clock being pushed back about another seven years.

 GUYS WITH WEIRD ORDERS

Up until this year, the strangest thing I’ve seen a guy order at a bar has been a cranberry/vodka. Normally when you think guy drinks, you think beer. Whiskey. Scotch. Anything but a Cape Cod in a rocks glass with a lime and a little straw. Especially when it’s compared to your Large Dos Equis draft, but to each is own.

But the award for the Strangest Thing I’ve Ever Heard Ordered In A Bar goes to an asshole a gentleman a friend and I met sitting at a bar one evening who took the pleasure upon himself to order: Deviled Eggs.uh seriouslyDEVILED EGGS.

DEVILED.

FUCKING.

EGGS. In a bar.

I actually like deviled eggs but in a bar? Chased with alcohol? There’s no cool way to even eat deviled eggs and we all know what that does to your digestive system. If he had farted I probably would have ended up on the show Snapped.

glass smash

THE SUPERBOWL

Seriously. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT GAME?!! As a Super Bowl-less Giants fan, it was by default I rooted for the Broncos. But seriously?!

broncos

The only thing that won that damn game was Joe Namath’s coat.

Former Jets quarterback Namath points to his championship ring before the Seahawks play the Broncos in the NFL Super Bowl XLVIII football game in East Rutherford

YOU BETTER WORK, BITCH.

FACEBOOK

Everyone is guilty of having friends on their list they just don’t socialize with anymore or if ever whether it’s someone from high school, an old friend, an ex, an old coworker or worse–someone you started to talk to. You met, exchanged numbers and social media accounts, went out a time or two–and nothing. It never went anywhere but yet here they are still in your News Feed. You want to delete them without seeming like the asshole and just waiting on the right time to do so aka they post something extremely political or racially insensitive or fan Nickelback‘s page.

unfollow

PHONE NUMBERS

Caught up with a friend recently and was told about an incident of her being approached by a guy who went out of his way to get her phone number. Great. Problem is….he never called. Ever. Not even a dial and breathe or “Opps, I thought this was Johnny” call.

What is the point in asking someone for their phone number and never using it? Just trying to prove you still got it?

Girl_Bye

Then there are the ones that use your number TOO much.

numberThere has to be a happy medium…and a mutual attraction.

must decline

Spring, hurry up and get your cute butt over here. And please, leave the pet peeves behind.

dear winter

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