Throwback Tales: Welcome To The Dark Side: Part 3

From the start of what turned out to be a crazy ride into the world of online dating—from creeps to plain ole NOs to “Hell Night” with Zac Efron to the too much too soon headache that was wine guy, all seemed worth it in the end by the time I finally met my new friend in person.

We chose to meet up at a bar/dance hall where upon my arrival I was greeted with a huge hug and then taken by the hand to pay my entry in and then to the bar for a drink.swoonMy new friend was already established as a good looking guy from his profile and talking online, but none of that did him justice compared to what he was in person. From his Midwestern accent to his bright Hazel eyes to his quick wit responses and sense of humor that scarily seemed to match mine it was safe to say I was smitten kittens. Shit: I was becoming. THAT. GIRL.

After talking about each other’s week and a quick dance we then went to meet outside with the friends of my new friend, where I was jokingly introduced as his girlfriend. It was funny, hopefully one day reigning to be true, and cute—mostly because I knew he was joking. If someone like wine guy had did it, it would have been creepy because trust he’d mean every bit of that shit.

old creep stare

The rest of the night went fun as planned, and no Creeper Alert was set off on the radar. That following day, I was asked by my new friend to spend the afternoon together, so we did. And the day after that, and after that as well—and soon enough the two of us were pretty inseparable.

girl guy drinkAnd equally scary, it felt right more so than it ever did with anyone else. Was this that whole “soul mate” bullshit my friends and family had been yapping about?!went to jaredWondering if my feelings were one sided, that insecurity was put to the test when one weekend my new friend went off to an all guys trip. For a bachelor party. In Las Vegas.

f that f that2Now maybe it’s just me because I’m an emotional wreck, or it could be just human nature—but when someone you like goes out for something like a bachelor/bachelorette party, you think the worst. Especially in Vegas. And seeing as if he wasn’t my official boyfriend, my new friend was allowed to go and do whatever he wanted to do.  I had my mind made up by the time I hit send to my “Have a safe flight!” text that I would not bother him for the remainder of his trip unless he contacted me first. And why would he? It’s boys weekend in Vegas.

shutting this b downHowever to my surprise, my new friend did contact me. The entire weekend he was there. For a bachelor party. In Vegas.  And he still managed to think about my crazy ass. Winning, indeed.

i winUpon my new friend’s arrival back in town, we were once again inseparable and I was officially that. partyYou know the one who posted happy shit and threw heart shapes around everything and COMPLETELY abandoned her blog because she couldn’t think of anything else besides how she couldn’t wait to see her hazel-eyed boo again? Yeah, that girl.2It was about a week later when my new friend proposed the idea that we get out on the town besides what had become the usual routine of just bumming at home and go out on a real date. Dinner, movies, dancing. Yes, yes and yes.

We’d planned for that upcoming Saturday night—all I had to do first was get through the Hellmouth that was working that morning at my second job at the time. And what a morning that was—literally everything that could go wrong, did and I bitched the entire shift until it was over.need to kill myselfUpon my exit, the initial plan was to nap off some steam, get pretty into my fancy new top I’d purchased for the occasion, and have a fun night out on the town…until one of my girlfriends asked me out for sushi.yesIt had been a minute since she and I had seen each other and needed to catch up to hear all about her recent vacation—why not??—it would put me in a better mood and just in time for my date later. What could go wrong?

giphyI’ll tell you where we went wrong amongst the conversation of boys, work, sushi rolls, edamame, and Instagram posts: sake. Sake is where we fucked up. All 4 large orders of them complete with Japanese beer.

one more one more2

It’s a miracle I even knew my name once we left the joint.

stair fallRealizing my mistake and warning my new friend I was channeling my inner 2007 Britney Spears, upon making it home I decided to take a nap and get myself together before my date planned for 9PM. Even Jesus couldn’t help me at the moment; I needed to sleep this one off.nap

Fast forward… 12:02A.M.

nightmare realizationAnd to five missed calls, one voicemail and and three text messages all from my new friend, including one that said he was outside waiting for me and asking where was I.

1ed8c45e013dc84f33a2be2110490bd5“Shitty” doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt in that moment, not even including the raging hangover I felt still creeping in the works from my sake bomb extravaganza. Like OF ALL THE TIMES TO OVERSLEEP?! OF ALL THE TIMES WHY THIS ONE?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.i defy you starsI immediately called my new friend and apologized over and over like an idiot. He played it cool and said he wasn’t upset. After a week of short responses, it was clear that he was.

My inner circle aware of the situation didn’t make things much better either.

“Oooo I’d be mad too!” was the average response back I’d gotten.

btchplzAnd yes, I’d be upset if the hot messed shoe was on the other foot rather my own. But after a week and large sized pizza of some sort, I’d be over it. Because I’m adult and it’s been well established in life shit happens. Or in my case, hot mess happens. Either way, I still felt terrible about it.

listen to sad songsAs did my new friend, eventually citing he needed space from me to focus on himself. Getting to know him I was aware he’d been hurt in the past, but isn’t that the case with the rest of the world? One simply does not make it out alive getting unscrewed.

Shortly after, my new friend and I’s relationship had become non-existent and I was back to life as I knew it .tumblr_inline_mtm0ioDeL01rynlhgTo this day I’m still asked about what is the current status between myself and the boyfriend that almost was.

fb stalkingIn truth at this point, I don’t know what I’d say if I ever saw him again or how I’d even react.

ive never met him beforeOr worse….how he’d react.

you ruined everythingThey say everything happens for a reason. Maybe I dodged some sort of bullet in the future had I’d gotten more involved. Mission accomplished.BPAS-eyCQAAPDeY.jpg largeAnd that my friends, is the conclusion to Welcome To The Dark Side and the time I almost had a boyfriend since taking the crown of being the mess that I am.

In other news, yes, it is Valentine’s Day! Hope it’s awesome and you are spending it with the ones you truly love.



  1. Still sad about this one. He’s kind of lame for not at least giving you a second chance. Shit happens and everyone should at least get a second chance, especially if the person is adamant about apologizing and explaining oneself. I think you’re right about the dodged bullet; clearly he’s not as understanding as he should be! #bye

  2. You funny girl! If he were really into you he could have just forgiven you, it was not such a big deal, what the hell. But pizza never judges, love pizza. I loved one at dinner too.

  3. I’ve been waiting to see how this goes to end and I did not expect this :D Yes, you made a mistake and yes, he had the right to be upset but it wasn’t that big of a deal :S He seemed perfect but imagine being in a relationship with someone who freaks out about every small thing. I guess you’re better off anyway ;) On to the next one :D

  4. Hi, I found your blog via Nutcaseinpoint and I’ve been stalking your blog especially with this online dating series. Man, I was reading about wine guy creeper then was sure it would get better. I don’t even know you but was easing this post with my mouth agape. This just sucks, I feel for you. Hopefully you have some better stories soon ( at the least you have stories right?) and meet someone normal. I could write a book of horror stories of online dating from going on a date with an ex con to a racist whose tooth fell out in the edamame but finally found a good one two years ago. Phew.

    1. Hello! Ah awesome, glad that we found each other’s blogs and you’ve been enjoying following! Yeah, it was an experience for sure. Thank you, fingers crossed I do but definitely if anything have stories. Hahahaha OMG!!!! Glad I’m not the only one with Horror stories. Lovely you finally found a good one, there’s still hope for me! :-)

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