Believe me when I say I was not the cool kid in school. I didn’t play for any teams, didn’t belong to any clubs or papers surprisingly (our newspaper sucked), and didn’t cheer or dance. At least not in public.
Believe me when I also say I wasn’t the loser either walking around burned out and high or getting shoved in lockers. I think I made it clear in third grade that I wasn’t the one when that girl LaTasha somebody tried to bully me for my zebra cake. Maybe it was the little twinkle of crazy in my eye, or the fact that I’ve been my height of 5’7ish basically since birth. Or it could be that when I stood up I leaned in her ear and whispered that if she ate my cake I’d tear her face off and eat it.
It was quickly returned and LaTasha and her face went on to another day and another victim.
I did eventually get into a fight a year later with a girl that clearly had a vision problem and missed the twinkle in my eye–to sum up that story I got sent to the principal’s office. She got sent to the nurse.
Eventually I went on to be just kind of around in school. I had my circle of friends, I made decent grades and would get an occasional compliment that my hair was pretty or that I was funny.
So fast forward into the era of social media. Where everyone and anyone you remotely went to school with wants to be your friend. At one point even LaTasha requested me.
BITCH YOU TRIED TO STEAL MY ZEBRA CAKE.